Between the Sheets: When one boyfriend just isn’t enough by TONYA STARR in The Daily Midwestern
January 16, 2013
We’re getting into our 20s — that time society deems suitable for graduating college, getting a good job and settling down with a partner. Just one, and preferably of the opposite sex. Just one partner to meet your social, sexual and emotional needs until the day you leave this earth.
Is it just me, or is that a little daunting?
Monogamy is sold to us everywhere we go — in the media, in the Bible and in our own households. The pairing of man and woman is, to some, the glue that holds our nation together.
But with the United States marriage rate at an all-time low of 51 percent (compared to 72 percent in 1960), it seems our generation is reconsidering its commitment to monogamy. In its place, a few alternative lifestyles have come to light — everything from cohabitation to civil unions to eternal spinsterdom. I’d like to introduce a relationship structure I find particularly intriguing and under-reported — polyamory.
Polyamory, according to Polyamorous NYC, means participation in long-term, romantically committed, multiple-partner relationships. For example, two women and two men all date one another. Each group member involved carries on romantic and sexual endeavors with whichever other group member he or she chooses, provided the person has the full consent of the group before the act is committed. They aren’t swingers or polygamists — just little clusters of folks all around the country for whom one partner is not enough.
A 2009 Newsweek article speculates there are more than half a million polyamorists living in the U.S., and they’ll be rising to the mainstream in the near future. There are now blogs, non-fiction books, Showtime specials and match-up networks dedicated to polyamory.
Dr. Kenneth Haslam, poly-activist and author of “The Twelve Pillars of Polyamory,” attributes the emergence of polyamory to a human need for variance. Take, for example, a long-term couple in which only one party is interested in bondage. Does the interested party repress that desire in an effort to preserve the sanctity of their monogamous relationship? Or does the person work with his or her partner to find a solution that’s acceptable to everyone? Perhaps a solution involves the consensual incorporation of an outside party.
You might think embracing this idea means sacrificing the unconditional love and trust one builds from sharing a life with another human. And maybe it does. But there are a large number of people out there, including former French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, who have declared monogamy doesn’t work for them. And if you’re one of those people, it might be time to look into something a little further from the beaten path.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not discrediting monogamous relationships. I, too, have apron-donning, childbearing, husband-loving fantasies about my future self. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t inform ourselves about the alternatives. Doing so on a wide scale will foster the eventual acceptance of polyamory — and similar lifestyles — into the mainstream. Experts say that after the battle for gay marriage is won, the battle for multiple partner marriage could be next. So suit up and keep your mind and eyes open as we ride into 2013.
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[Here’s one place for a gal with two or guy-lovers can go:]
DOUBLE PENETRATION: A PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT by Janet Kira Lessin [Excerpt from Polyamory, The Poly-Tantra Lovestyle]
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When you experience, as I did, two or more of your male poly lovers simultaneous entering you in tantric oneness, you open your inner stargate, touch the face of God and remember your source. As you embrace two or even three magic wands, the lingams (as we call penises) with your most sensitive inner sensual shrines, you feel ecstasy, get total personal and transpersonal recall. You drop concepts of physics, science and religion and instead zoom, as your multidimensional self, through space and time. You and the beloveds ntering you merge with divinity, source of all inchoate forms. Home, you experience everything everyone told you as illusion and, at the same time, truth.
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I had my double penetration satori the third night at a month-long love-in Sasha and I hosted for nine lovers (five women and four men) on Maui. We’d filled half our spacious living room with colorfully-covered mattresses. Two of the women were new to us, but we’d vetted them carefully and knew we’d go deep with them.
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Awkward at first, all nine of us eased into nude housekeeping and, by the third evening, lovemaking.
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Up to that third evening together, I’d shared some tantric breath, fondling, kissing and genital honoring with some, but I mostly made passionate love with Sash. We nine morphed from one kamasutra-like sexual configuration to the next.
. As Sasha lay on his back, I lowered myself onto his wand. We held each other’s gaze, then tongue-kissed; our tongues stroked sacred erotic sectors in each other’s mouths.
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As I opened my cave and took him inside, hugging his wand with my yoni (vagina), I again got who Sash and I truly are: ancient lovers in modern form. I saw, in the mirror, my tiny, porcelain-like body draped over his deeply tanned athletic form.
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As we moved our pelvises in our eternal rhythm, Sash delicately tapped, then probed my rosebud (as we call the anal opening) with his finger, preparing me for delights to come. My amrita (female ejaculate) flowed and we sang out in the rising momentum of our lovemaking.
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Then new hands, not Sasha’s, reverently caressed my bottom. I turned and saw Woody–our beautiful slender, blond, long-time lover ask me with his eyes to join us. “Yes, please,” I invited.
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I leaned forward, breasts against Sasha’s chest. Woody, from behind me, eased his wand to where Sasha and I joined genitals. I opened my amrita-lubricated yoni to let Woody’s wand snuggle in, a millimeter at a time, next to Sasha’s Both lingams fully inside, I squeezed my pc muscles on them and they both swelled within me. I felt the electricity of Woody’s and Sasha’s wands against each other as both gradually expanded deeper into me. I quivered as waves of bliss radiated from my yoni where my guys’ penises pulsed. Waves of bliss became a continuously pulse of pleasure for all three of us as Sasha and Woody’s penises reached my A- spot, the erogenous area next to my cervix. The three of us lost our separate self-senses, experienced triadic consciousness.
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I’d heard that some sages achieve pure grace, but never believed I could while alive. But here I was in continuous euphoric bliss, one unending Oneness.
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Allness engulfed not only Sash, Woody and me, but also the others on our giant mattress. All nine of us shared this divine space and joined our sacred worship of the magnificence of the Universe. I felt the cosmos open. Floor, walls, ceiling, all physical things dissolved. We nine shed the time/space continuum and stood in the stars. The void embraced us, absorbed us in the magnificence of creation and simultaneous stillness. Even the solar winds paused to hear the divine prayer in the form of our loving congress. All that there is, was and will be witnessed us as we reunited with Source. I was the orgasm, the orgiastic energy, the divine spark that created us all.
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You too can use group synergy, tantric lovemaking, polyamorous merging and multiple penetration to achieve the state of pure Sex Magick necessary to take women to this divine state needed to heal the world. With the intention of pure love and respect for life and all consciousness, we can shift the Morphogenic Field and create higher love and light. Together we stop war, pollution, overpopulation, disease and hunger. Our natural state is loving oneness.
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Multiple loving allows us to feel oneness and is instrumental in providing Earth and all her peoples a civilized civilization that respects all life. Through our love, we give every one of us the peace, love, dignity and grace we deserve.
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Excerpt from Janet’s book: POLYAMORY, MANY LOVES: The Poly-Tantric Lifestyle http://www.schooloftantra.net/Store/Books/PolyamoryManyLoves.htm
