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Alternative Relationships Articles Authors Conferences Janet Kira Lessin Janet Kira Lessin Non-Monogamy Polyamory Tantra


Janet Kira Lessin & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D.


by Janet Kira Lessin, Chief Focalizer, World Polyamory Association


















My primary, Sasha and I are an older couple who’ve been practicing Polyamory most of our lives. We head the World Polyamory Association and represent several generations of polys that have gone unrecognized because we had to remain in the closet until this time. Our society suffers from pluralistic ignorance—we profess one thing while do another. There are millions of polyamorists suffering, struggling because we are criticized, shunned, shamed and punished.

Polyamory has been practiced since the dawn of time but the new dawn of Polyamory, this age began in the 1960s with the then young hippies expressed love in new forms. My parents (both deceased) were born in the 1920s and were swingers in the 50s and 60s.

If I were doing Married and Polyamorous, the show featuring our wonderful colleagues, Kamala Devi, Michael McClure and their lovers, I’d bring in more diversity, for this field is quite diverse. We mate and cross-pollinate across the ages. We’re less prejudiced about race, age, size, weight factors that keep “normal” people from finding and expressing love.

Beauty comes from within. Love is essential for all and is our birthright.  Limiting love to one limits opportunities for love and some remain without love and relationships because of monogamy. That’s very sad to witness. With polyamory, those who would normally remain single are now included in love and get more of their needs for love, intimacy and companionship met.

I suggest Polyamory, Married and Dating broaden its perspective and show not only young and attractive folks, but feature more regular people, like a more accurate representation of the population of the audience. If the show could transcend its prejudice for the young and beautiful, it’d do a public service for the world and provide opportunities for more folks to come out of their limited boxes (imposed by a monogamous paradigm) and find and experience love. Now wouldn’t that be grand?

I have lovers/beloveds 20 to 30 years my junior. Love is ageless, blind and goes beyond boundaries that do not honor love.

Polyamory, Married and Dating could have some of these people come in and do guest spots on your show to create a broader perspective.  Many polys, by the way, are not ” married” and avoid contracts like marriage which give the government opportunities to interfere in their lives.  Sasha and I would love to be included in such an expanded show; we could present polyamory as a relationship option for everyperson, not just those Hollywood digs.

We know Kamala’s family quite well. They were featured at the World Polyamory Association Conference last year (July 2011). We could do something at the poly conference this July, if that would suit your programming schedule. I think showing how polys find love would be critical for the success of your show.

KISS OUR WRINKLES by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra

Age-ism’s a prison of schism.

Elders of the world unite, unite with each other and those non-elders
who recognize the stupidity of prejudice against those of us that wear
older bodies. To those imprisoned in the matrix’s media
misrepresentation of loving connection of souls, I invite you to relate
to the person, not the the external appearance of persons. It’s the
soul, not the plumbing or the wrapping. Kiss our wrinkles.

We elders (I’m 69) have experience, compassion and wisdom, as well as
enthusiasm and, sometimes, inner and outer security. Miss us, and it’s
your loss.

Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

LIFE AFTER POLYAMORY: Young and Beautiful, Someday Your Looks Will Be

by Janet Kira Lessin, Facilitator-In-Chief, World Polyamory Association,

I’m 58 now and my poly dreams are fading. Shattered. Yet I remain ternally hopeful, optimistic yet realistic at the same time. I’m not 18 anymore. I have gray hair covered by blonde dye. My face is beginning to sag. I have smile and laugh wrinkles around my baby blue eyes and my mouth. When look down there’s this weird thing that happens with my chin. I’ve put on weight with menopause. This past year I almost died from gallstones. I suffer from arrhythmia, allergies and asthma. My bones ache and Lord knows what other ills lie beneath the surface.

But I’m blessed beyond belief for I am loved and have been loved by some incredible people, male and female, some living, some dead. Each year that passes more cross over. They are all, always with me. I’m so fortunate that I have a husband, my best friend, lover, confidant. We share everything: hopes, dreams, desires, heartaches, fortunes and failures.

We married each other the first time we made love. We married a second time at the Celebration of Eros Conference at Harbin Hot Springs, Northern California in 1997 in front of 200 tantrikas. We married each other again, legally at the Cupids Chapel in Las Vegas September 20, 2000. We marry each other again every New Years Eve on our deck overlooking the Kahului Harbor in Maui while hundreds of fireworkslight the night sky. We are love incarnate, soul mates, twin flames, eternally entwined, connected, one, love divine.

We find each other lifetime after lifetime. We are part of a larger soul group that’s closely connected to an even larger soul group. We all love each other unconditionally, know that we are one love, one being with many arms reaching to the farthest parts of the cosmos. We frequently reincarnate together in various configurations, changing sex and relationships to more effectively expedite lessons and accelerate our soul’s evolution. While my ego self may long for connection, my soul knows I’m always one with all of you. My capacity to love includes all of you and all beings, all life everywhere, here, there and in the cosmos.

Who will come hold my hand, look in my eyes, stroke my hair, kiss my cheek? That’s the mystery. Uknown. But simultaneously I am so blessed to have dear Sasha forever at my side. My awareness now comprehends that if ever we should cross the veil without the other, we remain eternally connected. I suspect, however, that we’ll go together. And the love we’ve shared with those we’ve been blessed to know has been so incredibly awesome, a true gift. Even though our ego selves may have reacted to one another in some extreme, sometimes bizarre ways, underneath it all, we remember our oversoul’s purpose. We are wise.

2010-2012 was a struggle, a choice for both of us to stay here, alive, in this dimension, on blessed Gaia. We chose to remain, to share more time, learn more, gather experiences, grow, expand, evolve our souls.

We journey out again to the mainland soon, to meet some of you, share breath, life and a piece of our souls. I’m excited, apprehensive, joyous, aware. Maybe some of you will recognize us, see the beautiful children and the young man and woman that lies beneath our souls. Maybe you’ll dare to care.

I love so much and remain open, polyamorous all my lives. I know there are those capable of expanding love beyond magazine covers, runway models, Hollywood images and superficial symbols. I am confident there are those who embrace true intimacy, love and authentic relationships. Love is far more than the temporary bodies we wear.

Sash and I laugh and say we are like the charpei dogs next door, each passing year makes our skin sag and droop! But how our souls glow beneath that laughter with our ability to love so deeply, so completely. True, we were both once young and beautiful and yes, that look is long gone. But now we shine with a different beauty, one of age and wisdom. And those we love often come the say way! And amazingly others of all ages see beyond and recognize beauty in whatever ever form it comes and desire to join with us in sacred union. Together we share our souls, body, love deeply, transcend our separate, skin-encapsulated self sense and soar as one to touch the face of God Source as she smiles, laughs and embraces her children who are all parts of Her God/dess Self.

We look forward to meeting our soul mates, all of you. And who knows which ones will feel inclined to join us in holy communion in our tantric temple community ashram in Mother Maui, Hawaii? We remain open, forever, totally devoted to love. We’re committed to the path, certain of it’s perfection wherever it goes. We have no attachment, content with the now, happy as it is and open to how it may be.

We invite you to attend the World Polyamory Association Annual Harbin Hot

Springs California, July 19 -21, 2013