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Alternative Relationships Articles Authors Featured Janet Kira Lessin Non-Monogamy Polyamory


Doma repeal 2

Today (06/26/13) the DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) was overturned and Proposition 8 dismissed so now same sex marriages are available in California.  Thirteen of the 50 U.S. states plus Washington, D.C., have legalized gay marriage. Many states permit domestic partnerships.  We’re getting closer.  With today’s victories, there’s only 37 more to go.  See for the latest tally.  Let’s keep up the momentum for same sex marriage leads the way to marriage for all who love and desire to marry and ultimately that includes polys.
Doma repeal

We support the LGBT movement and wish to add “P” at the end of “LGBT.”  “P” is  for” polyamory”  LGBT-P  is a movement to create relationship choice for all who desire so we have freedom to choose to love and how and whom we wish to love.  We deserve, if we wish, the right to commit to one another in solid, legal contracts backed by our society, in marriages, same as monogamous, heterosexuals, marriages that honor how we live and love.

I remember when we were so few and hardly anyone was aware of the word ‘polyamory.”  However, many have acted polyamorously (without a word to describe it), since the dawn of time. Others had multiple relationships they hid because they were conflicted based on “morality” and laws. Our DNA reflects our diverse, sexual history which verifies our non-monogamous nature.  At last truth dawns and soon reigns so we can live and love with honesty and integrity, freed from the necessity of lies.

Now polys measure in the millions. We have built upon the shoulders of those giants who came before, starting in the 60s with the late Robert Rimmer and Robert Heinlein who gave us concepts that inspired the generations.

We exist because of their efforts, and our ongoing efforts and how they gave who came before gave to all of us and we now continue to give and support each other.  Many who gave had to remain in the closet. Some still are closeted.  Until all are free to speak their choice, a part of us remains forever imprisoned.

Give choice a voice.

We’re almost there and our efforts have paid off.

Congratulations world.  We’re waking up, making it happen, relationship choice and freedom for all beings.

You can support the LGBTP movement by supporting our events.  Rally your friends of all orientations to educate themselves on how they may support relationship choice.  Now that we’re all coming out of the closet, it’s likely everyone knows (and loves as friend and family if not intimately or sexually) those who identify as LGBT or P.  By each of us supporting others relationship and gender choice, we support freedom for all to be who they truly are and love who they truly love.

Please support these LGBTP events locally and internationally. Spread the word through your networks, facebook, twitter, maillists, etc.  Encourage all to attend to educate themselves and support choice and ultimately support your own friends and family members, even those not born in enjoying their lives to their maximum potential.

Please register early as possible, help fill up these events, promote, commit, join, become a member, contribute financially, make donations of time, energy, money for these organizations and events exist so that we might gather and meet, create bonds and friendships, support one another.  They exist to support our needs of love, intimacy, romance, sex, relationships, friendships, life partners, spouses, children and more.  They exist to support your family, friends, community, world.

There’s no reason that every single polyamory event should not sell out.  There’s more than enough of us now who want to go. If you can’t go, contribute and sponsor others who want to go. Ask to be sponsored so you can meet others.

Many create relationships at these gatherings that last a lifetime.  Polyamory and LBGT events and conferences change lives.

My life is a living testimony of how just one single polyamory event (for me it was the 1997 Loving More Conference at Mt. Madonna) can totally change your life. It was at these events that I discovered I was bisexual.  These revelations freed me from shame and blame, a personal hell that affected my happiness and health.

Even shorter relationships that don’t last forever, but they last as long as necessary, serve needs and teach, create and enhance relationship skills necessary create bonds and generate more love individually, collectively and for this world.

The world needs more love and it is happening, growing and evolving with your love and support for all the poly organizations and LGBT groups that are springing up globally.

All my relationships have been essential to create the me I am here, now. These relationships have taught me how to love, not only others but myself.  And now, I’ve learned how to love myself, I realize how everyone has contributed to my growth and evolution. Thanks all who’ve contributed.  It’s been interesting, to say the least.



by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Focalizer, World Polyamory Association

Polys of the world unite;
You’ve nothing to loose but limitations, nothing to shed but isolation;
Everything to gain in love, intimacy, intensity and growth.
Terminate monotonous monogamy; arrest atrocious age-ism;
Stop sexist stifling, renounce pernicious racism;
Celebrate relationship choice and give more loving a voice.
The love you take is equal to the love you make.

(inspired by John Lennon, Marx, Engels)


We demand ALL the rights extended to married hetero and same-sex couples.Janet Kira Lessin and I, when we focalize the annual Polyamory Conference at Harbin Hot Springs California July 29 -30, seek poly and poly-friendly members for our soon-to-be entirely self- sustaining rural poly-tantric community on the South Waiehu Stream of the West Maui Mountains, overlooking the island’s North Shore. Meet us at Harbin and/or call 808 244-4103 or email us at

Supreme Court Defense Of Marriage Act Decision: Court Strikes Down Key Provision Of DOMA –

Supreme Court DOMA Decision Rules Federal Same-Sex Marriage Ban Unconstitutional
The Huffington Post

WASHINGTON — The Defense of Marriage Act, the law barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages legalized by the states, is unconstitutional, the Supreme Court ruled Wednesday by a 5-4 vote.

“The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion. “By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.”

Justice Kennedy delivered the court’s opinion, and was joined by Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan. Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito all filed dissenting opinions.

DOMA, signed by President Bill Clinton in 1996, prevents same-sex couples whose marriages are recognized by their home state from receiving the hundreds of benefits available to other married couples under federal law. During the Obama administration, the Justice Department initially defended DOMA in court despite the administration’s desire to repeal it. But the Justice Department changed course in early 2011, finding that the law was unconstitutional and declining to defend it any longer. House Republicans have since spent hundreds of thousands of dollars taking over that defense.

Plaintiff Edie Windsor, 84, sued the federal government after the Internal Revenue Service denied her refund request for the $363,000 in federal estate taxes she paid after her spouse, Thea Spyer, died in 2009.

During the March oral arguments in United States v. Windsor, a majority of the court seemed to express doubts about the constitutionality of DOMA. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that supporters of the law seemed to want “two types of marriage,” likening same-sex unions to the “skim milk” version of marriage.

The Supreme Court has struck down a key provision of the Defense of Marriage Act forbidding federal recognition of gay marriages for couples residing in states that recognize their union.

The court’s decision came by a ruling of 5-4.

The ruling is one of two major gay marriage rulings being considered by the High Court. The court is also ruling on Proposition 8, California’s anti-gay marriage law.

DOMA defines marriage as between “one man and one woman as husband and wife” for purposes of federal law. It was challenged by Edith “Edie” Windsor, 83, when the Internal Revenue Service stuck her with $363,000 of estate taxes after her late wife died.