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Loving Beyond the Matrix
OCTOBER 22-24, 2004




The World Polyamory Association's Southern California Conference, LOVING BEYOND THE MATRIX, will be at Aliso Creek Inn (October 22-24, 2004) in Laguna Beach, 1 hour south of Los Angeles. The Laguna poly conference includes interactive workshops on pair bonding, romantic love, multiple-partner sexuality and choreographing the dance of poly loving. There will be panel discussions, jealousy management experiments, opportunities for networking, a fun party and a half-day experience of living compersion–empathy for others' love-joy. 

 Participants will move from experience to experience together, in plenary sessions orchestrated to build community. Presenters include Leanna Wolfe, Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin, Harold Kornylak, Les Nuckles, Dave Doleshal, Will Jones, Anastas Harris, Steven Vogue, Dawn & Akien and more (to be announced).  Sophia Songhealer provides music and guides a tantra ceremony.   

The theme of this conference is Loving Beyond the Matrix.  What does it mean to love beyond the matrix?  To step outside the box and be authentic and real? To express one’s true desires, with no hesitation or restrictions? 

How can we move to love beyond the matrix, the conventional reality that somehow we all agree by consensus, conformity and fear to be what’s real?

We explore these options at the 2004 Southwest Regional Polyamory Conference, Loving Beyond the Matrix. Join us in Laguna Beach on October 22-23, 2004 as we create new paradigms to re-shape the world.


Friday Oct 22, 2004    Terrace Room Printable Version
9:00 AM - Registration Desk Opens
9:15 - 10:20 AM  Welcome, Orient to Polyamory Janet Kira Lessin & Dave Doleshal  

  Janet and Dave orient all to the conference. They, oldtimers and newcomers question each other and share experiences.

9:30 - 11:00 AM Pods for Intimate Community Sasha Lessin

We play–first wordlessly. Then we talk and join small (6 -12 person) groups. Our group is our pod. Our pod supports us getting what we want at the conference and in life. Throughout the weekend, we talk with our pod mates about what we learn about poly loving.

       To prepare for experiences Shama, Don Kraig and Harold Kornylak lead, we imagine taking new lovers into our net.  We roleplay joining established lovers.  Tomorrow we report how we're doing fulfilling fantasies.

12: 30 - 1:30 PM 
1:30 - 2:30 PM Touch with Intention -  Les Nuckles 

     This presentation teaches people to touch and/or be present using focus and intention.  There's some lecture with lots of hands-on time.  This workshop prepares attendees to get more from the workshops that follow and to be better able to connect with others.

2:30 - 3:30 PM How to Enter an Established Poly Relationship   Shama & Don Kraig

    Learn to be a successful third, fourth, or fifth wheel!  Navigating the waters smoothly when entering an established relationship can be rough.  Shama & Don reveal important pointers that make the journey easier. You learn the most important aspects of how to deal with exciting dynamics a new person brings; the wonders and the potential pitfalls. Learn to create balance and harmony in triads and beyond.  Explore practical skills including communication tools that can be used immediately to enhance and expand the quality of all your relationships

3:30 -4:30 PM On Agreements Dawn Davidson &

"Safer" Agreements Agreements are one of the cornerstones of successful relating, in all aspects of our lives. We'll cover how to make more successful agreements, what should and shouldn't be in a safer sex agreement, and how to make agreements regarding emotional safety. We'll also discuss the agreements in our lives we're usually not even aware of. We will cover why agreements fail, and how to help insure their success. We'll also discuss how to recover when they fail. We'll be spending out time together in a combination of lecture, interactive discussion, and exercises.

4:30 -5:30 PM The Bi-Poly Options for the 21st Century Ed Jor-El Elkin

    Explore bi-sexual polyamorous relationship in a safe and supportive environment. This workshop is for all levels of interest, especially for the Bi-Curious as well as the Bisexually experienced.  A theoretical and experiential guide to the Bi-Poly option with guided imagery, pair and multiple partner exercises. Using movement and dance, transformational theater and role-playing exercises with opposite sex and same sex partners, we explore the bi-poly option in fantasy and in "reality".

5:30 - 6:30 PM Dinner, Songs Sophia Songhealer

     Sophia's songs coronate archetypes of love, beauty, strength, joy, Compassion and wisdom to reign in our hearts.

6:45 - 7:00 PM Polyamory: Love Beyond The Matrix
Janet Kira Lessin

     Janet invites you to set aside who you think you are and reorganize brain cells and emerge from this conference, able to stand proud and say, "I'm polyamorous" and love beyond the matrix. 

7:00 - 8:30 PM Tantra Ritual for Polys
Sophia Songhealer

    Sophia's ceremonial songs move us through energy exchanges that uplift and support all-chakra connecting.

8:30 - 10:15 PM Beyond the Dance of Two Harold Kornylak

     An enduring, fulfilling two person partnership is rare enough, even most animals tend to pair bond, so is it totally impractical to think of expanding beyond the dyad, perhaps to 3, or 4? Well, for those who enjoy the challenge, lets explore some of the unique dynamics when more than 2 relate together. How do we keep a triad from being a pair plus one. Get some insight into your own relating styles and how compatible these styles are with going beyond the dyad. (Discussion and experiential exercises).

10:15 - midnight Tantric Polyamory   Shama & Don Kraig

     We frequently hear in the media how sex in relationships eventually becomes boring. Even some people in poly relationships often find themselves in a rut, doing the same old thing while getting lesser results. It doesn’t have to be that way!  

    Through Tantra, you can experience NOW how to resurrect the passion and ecstasy in every aspect of your life as you expand your passion, your pleasure, and the depth of your intimacy beyond your wildest dreams!  Step into a new paradigm of love, of sex and of living.  Shama and Don Kraig guide you on this amazing exploration of awakening, consciousness and bliss.

Saturday Oct 23

7:30 - 8:30 AM Breakfast

9:30 - 11:00 AM How We Do Poly Janet Kira Lessin, Panel & Participants

     This is a very popular format and often the favorite part of the conference for many.  The panel is led by Janet Kira Lessin and includes polys of several varieties and everyone else who wishes to share how they make polyamory work for them.  The audience gets to ask question, so everyone's included.  Newbies get valuable answers to begin their poly lives.

11:00 AM - 12:30 AM Hawkins' Cosmology, Polyamory and You Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

David Hawkins has developed a cosmology of human consciousness that takes us from the lowest to the highest levels of human consciousness.  He did this through research using applied kinesiology on hundreds and thousands of people over ten years time.   He found that regardless of race, culture, religion, nationality, class, personality, state of mental health or even personal beliefs, almost exactly the same cosmology emerged with each individual.  More than that when each state was rated for the level of life energy it represented, that too was, almost completely consistent across the board of the people tested.  

We'll take that cosmology and apply it to relationships to determine how each level impacts the possibility for polyamory. We've also looked at our own relationship from Hawkin's perspective.  We'll share this cosmology and our insights into it and give an example from our own relationship as it relates to the different levels. 

Then you'll participate in a small group exploration of each person’s current challenge in polyamory from the perspective of the cosmology of human consciousness.  You'll have the opportunity to bring to the table a difficult or uncomfortable experience for you in the poly realm.  You'll reflect upon and discuss your experience.  You'll ask yourself where are you, where do you want to be?  What do you need to believe, know, do to be there? 

12:30 - 1:30 PM    Lunch

3:30 - 5:00 PM Manage Jealousy Dave Doleshal

There are many good ideas and effective techniques that can be used to manage jealousy. All of them work at least to some extent.  This workshop will include two others that are very powerful, easy to learn, but not yet widely known within the polyamory community.  These are the methods originally pioneered by psychologist Roger Callahan and methods invented by Dr. Edward Bach, a British Homeopathic physician.

5:00 - 6:00 PM Dinner

6:00 - 7:30 PM Pair Bonding, Romantic Love & Multiple Partner Sexuality Leanna Wolfe

Is serial monogamy the normal human mating pattern? How then do we explain other patterns including polygamy, polyamory, and swinging? To address these questions, we'll examine cross-cultural research on romantic passion as well as the brain chemistry of romantic love. Next we'll compare how the cultures of dating singles, swingers and polyamorists engage pairbonding and romantic love. We'll consider how singles focus on the differences between how women and men fall in love and evaluate making a pairbonded commitment.  Next we see how polyamory mitigates against jealousy by celebrating compersion and maintaining relationship hierarchies and how swinging culture largely teases up sexual attraction while reinforcing the strength of the marital bond. Wel reconsider the idea humans are serially monogamous. What keeps people swinging, or practicing open marriage, polygyny, polyandry and polyamory happy are the many different kinds of love they access simultaneously.

7:30 - 9:30 PM Intimate Erotic Photography & Poly Relationships Wilton Jones

This presentation is about four people who agreed to share a part of their intimate relationships with the world.  Using photographs taken earlier this year as a samples, we will discuss how this photo session helped a poly family incorporate and we partner in much less time than it might have taken in the past.  We'll also discuss how you can use photography to both enhance your relationships and create images that are erotic and sensual without being lewd. 

9:30 -11:00 PM Hypnofantasy & Hypnomassage Terry & Paul Brussel-Gibbons & Marcus Brussel Jenkins

     Hypnosis demonstration shows you how to slay the green eyed monster, release sexual inhibitions which are no longer serving you, and how to share full body multiple orgasms with your partners. Bring your senses alive through guided fantasy, experience the delights of sensual/spiritual connection through orchestrated hypnomassage --for singles, dyads, triads and loving groups. Romantic music heightens the intimacy. 

11:00 - Midnight Sing, Dance & Party Sophia Songhealer

Sunday Oct 24 Green Room

9:00AM - 2:30PM
Living Compersion: An Experiential and Tantric Workshop Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

In Compersion you're uplifted when your lover's uplifted through of love and sex he or she shares with others.  Accept that while your lovers love others you can feel pleasure, excitation and joy.  Compersion is essential to Polyamory.  Tantra, a spiritual path leading to compersion flows seamlessly into Polyamory. 

     In twos, fours and small groups, we move into compersion, tantra and polyamory--mentally, sensually, playfully or soulfully.  You either stretch boundaries or move into already extended boundaries with a variety of individuals or couples. We give you enriching and supportive situations to develop your compersionate nature.

Steven Vogue and Anastas Harris present the Laguna Beach, 2004 Post-Conference: 
Living Compersion: An Experiential and Tantric Workshop

CONFERENCE TUITION includes use of facilities, presentations and workshops only.  Housing may be chosen by attendee by clicking ACCOMMODATIONS

Conference Meal Package:  $100

During the main conference our meals will be served buffet-style on the Terrace Deck, which is a large covered deck outside our conference room. Our meal packet costs $100 per person and consists of four hot meals with both vegetarian and non-vegetarian selections which will be served during the main conference part of our weekend.  The meals included in this packet: Friday dinner, Saturday breakfast, lunch and dinner.  


Conference; $195
Post-Conference $80
Package Deal (Conference & Post-Conference): $225
Day Rate: $100

Conference; $250
Post-Conference: $80
Package Deal (Conference & Post-Conference): $275
Day Rate: $100

Meal Package: $100 (4 hot meals; Friday dinner, Saturday breakfast, lunch & dinner)

*Membership Types: (JOIN)

Low Income $30
Charter (till 12/31/04) $50
Group/Organization $50
Regular $65
Professional $75
Silver $100
Gold $500
Lifetime $1000
Eternal $5000

Conference Meal Package:  $100

During the main conference our meals will be served buffet-style on the Terrace Deck, which is a large covered deck outside our conference room. Our meal packet costs $100 per person and consists of four hot meals with both vegetarian and non-vegetarian selections which will be served during the main conference part of our weekend.  The meals included in this packet: Friday dinner, Saturday breakfast, lunch and dinner.  


No Refunds on Membership Fees

Refund Policy for Conferences & Events:
90 days or more - Refund fee is 25% of price
60 days or more - Refund fee is 50% of price
31-59 days - Refund fee is 75% of price
30 days or less - Refund fee is 100% of price
5 days or less - no credits or refunds

To Cancel send your request in writing to: or write to

World Polyamory Association
1371 Malaihi Road
Wailuku, Hawaii 96793
Be sure to include your name, address, email and phone.

After you register, and if you cannot attend the Conference or Event, you may:
1. Send a substitute or
2. Receive a credit memo to be applied in one year (12 months) toward another WPA event.

Returned checks will be charged a $25 bank service fee.

Copyright 2004 [WorldPolyamoryAssociation]. All rights reserved.
Revised: July 22, 2011